Blasting Into 2019
Today is a great day to manifest the shit out of some abundance.
There is a line drawn in the sand where I can clearly see the previous version of myself and a Knowing that there is another version on the horizon.
The truth is, of course, I am scared to death. While I feel the Knowing in my bones that it is time for me to change, doing so, is racked with fear. It is fitting that my birthday is New Year’s Eve. So, new age and a new beginning.
Currently, I am reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s book May Cause Miracles: A 40-day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness. This is not a book to skim through and won’t resonate unless you are serious. You start the day with a morning exercise and end the day with an evening exercise. These exercises include affirmations, meditations, prayer, and journaling. You spend the day aware of what your focus is and the evening exercise is the contemplation about that focus.
It was with the prompting of this book that I began to look for when the Universe was giving me miracles. I saw one on New Year’s Day. I was set to work a swing shift in the emergency department. I was unexpectedly called off shift that day and found myself alone at home with no plans. I didn’t dwell too long and immediately began a New Year’s Day ritual. I felt like while I lost the opportunity to make money, in exchange I was given a gift. A day to myself to pray, journal, meditate, reflect and manifest. This day also included burning copious amounts of sage and charging all my crystals.
I began my ritual by writing in my journal the answer to this question: What do you want to leave behind with the old year?
This is where I drew a line in the sand. I saw the old ways and belief systems that kept me safe but no longer served me. I began to write and declare that I was ready to let go of the following beliefs: that I need to struggle, that people will look down on me, that I am destined to be poor, that I will fail, that I Am A Mistake. I discovered the habits I was ready to leave behind: feeling unworthy, dwelling in negative self-talk, the scarcity mindset, and letting other people tell me their truths.
The next part of the ritual included a major manifesting moment. I was to answer, envision, and proclaim what I dream for 2019. I went big and wasn’t afraid to imagine what could be in store for me. I became specific and described how I would feel when these things happened. I wrote about wanting to travel with my family, husband, and best friends. I wrote about all the wilderness I wanted to explore. I imagined financial prosperity and peace. I described how I want my relationship to be with myself, my higher power and tribe. It felt really weird, but I had nothing to lose.
Then I sat. I felt this intention in my heart and bones. I felt chills throughout my body and my heart become full. This was a moment of connection to myself and a conversation with the Divine. Life went back to normal pretty quickly, but none of that was lost. Moments like these, change your chemistry on a cellular and molecular level. Reminds me of this idea I heard a while back.
That when a tug boat changes its direction ever so slightly, it will end up in an entirely different destination.
It is with this understanding, that by making the slightest shift with our intentions – by allowing and surrendering – who knows where we will be when it comes time to begin again in 2020.